- thinking that I should be doing homework because I don't really want to do it all tomorrow
- grateful that I have no classes tomorrow
- dreading tomorrow (D-day) because I am afraid to find out if I will in fact be graduating this semester or not for many reasons. Two of which include: fear of having to get out into the "real world" and get a real job, and fear of having to stay in the 'burg for yet another semester but this time all by myself.
Really it comes down to the fact that I already had all these plans and as of tomorrow they may or may not all be completely null and void. I hate making plans just to have them get disrupted by life. I guess that is life. It's just going to be super inconvenient if I find out I won't be graduating in July because I was totally expecting to and had planned this whole semester according to that prior knowledge. All the classes I signed up for this semester, I chose because I thought it was my last semester, if I had known it wasn't going to be my last semester I would have picked completely different classes and saved these classes for my last semester so it would be somewhat easy. If I have to stay another semester I am going to die from the psycho difficulty level of the classes.
And if I have to stay I will have to scramble to find housing, scramble to figure out what classes I am supposed to take next semester (which I would have needed to already register for if I had a chance of getting them), try to figure out an alternative to driving home with my clandestine friend, and about 5o other plans I will then have to substitute with crappy and less than appealing alternatives. So in case you were wondering, that is where all the animosity of today's entry is coming from.
So basically, I've decided to prepare myself for the worst but hope and pray (x a million!!) for the best. I even started to think of some pros of having to stay another semester or two:
1. I really don't think I'm suitable enough for the "real world" at this point in my life
2. Maybe by staying in school longer I'll finally figure out what I want/am supposed to do with my life and what career path I should be preparing for
Yeah, my pros list pretty much ends there. For now I'll feel better if we just assume that everything will be fine and by some miracle, I will get to graduate in July. Maybe they'll let me graduate anyway because they'll sympathize with me since my adviser is apparently an idiot. Gosh, how I hope that is the case.
